To whomever kidnapped my child and replaced her with a carbon-copy lookalike, listen up:
I WANT HER BACK. NOW.
Somehow, you managed to sneak in here when she turned 9-months old, and switch her out with a baby that looks like her, and sounds like her, and pretty much acts like her, except at nap time and bedtime.
Here's the deal. Up until this point, Ansley was no trouble to get to sleep. Nap time would come, and she'd be put in her crib with binky and bear, and sleep. For 2 hours. It was wonderful.
And she'd do the same thing in the afternoon. One for Daddy, and one for Mommy. And at bedtime? Yeah, it was glorious. A few snuggles, rock rock rock, kisses, bedtime, sleep. And sleep went from 8:30 p.m. to 8 a.m., with only peaceful sighs in between.
No cries. No whines. NO SCREAMING FOR AN HOUR IF IN BED, AND PLAYING FOR AN HOUR IF UP.
This baby stands in her crib, and grabs the side and pulls it back and forth, making this super annoying clicking sound over the monitor. This baby woke up every hour last night because she had rolled to her stomach and didn't like it. Or had kicked off her blankets and was cold. Or wanted to play. At 5 a.m.
Please kindly return my sleep-loving baby, m'kay? Immediately. And, while you're at it, make sure the obsessive drooling goes too. And the chewing on everything, even toes. And, if you have to, go ahead and return her with a tooth if that will get things back to normal.