Thursday, June 17, 2010

If I were to get married today...

This has been the summer of weddings. There have been 4 already. One I didn't make it to, and we still have one more to go.

I went to a wedding of a coworker last week, and was simply astonished. She had 12 attendants. Not only was I not one of them, but several girls that she was good friends with in high school weren't part of the group either.

I don't write this because I'm upset that I wasn't included. That's not it at all. I write this because I was stunned. Of the 12 attendants, she was only related to 4. That means 8 bridesmaids were high school/college friends. I started racking my brain. If I were to get married today (just work with me here), who do I consider my close friends? Who is such an important part of my life that I would want them to share that day with me?

I got married right out of college. Literally. I graduated, and the next day, I was married. Wasted no time. I had 5 attendants, and 1 honorary. Would they change today? Yes.

If I were to get married today, I would still ask my sisters to be in my wedding. Not because they are my sisters (as was much of the sentiment 4 years ago), but because now, we really are friends. Occasionally, we can be the best of friends, but, let's be serious. We're still sisters ya'll, even if we have grown up.

My sister-in-law was also part of my wedding. We've grown much closer over the last 4 years, so I would surely want to share that day with her. But, I've also grown much closer to my other 2 sisters-in-law, and it would be difficult for me to ask the younger but not the 2 older. So, that would put me up to 5, if I were to get married today.

4 years ago, my college roommate was my maid of honor. Unfortunately, I think that would change. I still love her. To.Death. But, she's married now, and has lived across the globe, and more recently, 2 hours away since college. When we get together, it is like no time has passed, and it's great. But those times seem to be far between. We grew alot during college, and then, it only made sense to have her literally standing beside me. I think I would still have her in the wedding, because she was my roommate for 2.5 years.

Two of my high school besties. They would definitely still be a part of my wedding, if I were to get married today. I'm not as close to one as I was in middle school, but that's cause we spent every waking hour together growing up. We're both married now, and I'm pretty sure our hubbies wouldn't exactly go for up-all-night sleepovers. But years of devotion to boy bands cannot go unrewarded, even if you haven't had a sleepover in six years.

I didn't really know where I fit in high school. Amazingly, I'm still in contact with a large number of people I went to high school with. Partially thanks to facebook, and partially thanks to a young adult Bible study I attend. But there are some from high school that I was SO close to that I wouldn't have had a second thought about having them in my wedding if I got married before college. But college was a growing time for all four of us girls. Even though we happened to be AT THE SAME SMALL COLLEGE, we somehow managed to grow apart. And I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's because in high school, maybe I tried too hard to force my way into that group. But, if I got married today, I wouldn't even know how to contact two of the three, even if I needed them to be in my wedding.

I miss those girls, and very often wonder how they are doing. I've recently reconnected with one of the three, and it's wonderful to catch up on her life, and how she's growing and raising her own little family. And, it's great that no matter how much time passes, inside jokes are still just as funny as the moment it happened in gym class.

If I got married today, that coworker that got married last week would be in my wedding. Because, right now, she's part of my inner circle of friends. We went to high school together, as well as college (wow. I think I've finally realized that I went to college with A TON of people that I went to high school with.), but it's only recently that we've become really good friends. We talk about babies and sex (though that could simply be because it's part of our job). Her husband is fun and gets along wonderfully with mine. We've planned double dates, and I honestly cannot wait to have another married couple as friends.

[Tiffany scrolls back up and realizes how RIDICULOUSLY LONG this post is]

So, I'm at 9 attendants. There's always the one, in every wedding, that you're really not sure why they're there. You know, not related, and in the same circle of friends, but not the BEST friend? I would probably have 3 of those. Two of which, surprise, I happened to go to high school with, and a third that I suited with in college. One girl, in particular, I've only really gotten to know this past year. She's a ton of fun and has been grafted into our "Cool Kids Lunch" every week. The other girl, also from high school, I got to know better in college and try to talk to regularly.

So, that puts me at 12 attendants, if I were to get married today (and here I was thinking I used to have so many more friends). But, I have to say, I am so glad I'm not getting married today. Because Ansley wouldn't be here. And, sometimes, it doesn't seem to matter how many friends you have, and how many fun things seem to be going on. Because really, all you want to do is go home, pick up a book, and read to that little one, in hopes that you'll be called "ma-ma" once again. And maybe this time, it will be on purpose.

1 comment:

  1. Interesting post. I realized a couple years after we got married that my list would change as well. With the exception of the three sisters that were in the wedding, there would probably only be two of the other girls and that leaves three out. Kind of interesting to see how you can grow apart so fast.