Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Norm

Well, I hope you realize that I have had the baby.  I mean, 39 weeks was long enough. I can't imagine a 50 week pregnancy.

Tripp was born at 11:45 a.m. on May 22, one week before his due date.  We have all been going non-stop since.

But, we are finding a groove. We are settling in. And, it's about time. I thrive on a routine. Which is pretty crazy considering in college I hated routines.  I was crazy in college. Ok, maybe not crazy by some standards, but I did break curfew... yeah. I realize that the simple fact that I attended a college that had a curfew attests to the truth that I am indeed far from crazy.

I can't exactly explain all the changes that have happened since adding another arrow to the quiver. To be completely honest, I've always had this fear that I would never be able to love a second child with the same amount of love that I have for Ansley.  And it scared me.

The closer I got to having an outside baby, the more the fear grew. Could I handle two? Or, maybe more accurately, would they handle me?

It's good. and I'm looking forward to being "me" again. To having some time where I can sit and vomit my thoughts on paper. I love my kids. But I also understand that if I am going to be the best mother, I need to take time for me.

And, that's what this blog is. It's for me.  If others read it, that's fine. But I'm done trying to be like the others I read. Or, rather, used to read. Trying to be wittier than I am, snarkier than reality.  It's time to just be... me.