This hole I'm in just keeps getting deeper

Ok. So. I can't seem to get myself out of this whole. Every day I take a picture. But I couldn't seem to get them posted on the blog. And, then I came up with this brilliant idea to make a photo collage for each week.



And, then I realized that some of my photos were on my computer at home, while others were still on their SD cards.



So, I decided I didn't care. If I leave a day out, so what?



I did manage to get 5 days of pics together though, and I'm working on the next batch.



So enjoy. I know I have.

3-10

A walk in the park. We ran into some friends who offered to take a family photo.

3-11

We are really working with Ansley on tummy time. She isn't much of a fan, and, inevitably, she ends up puking.

3-12

We got to go to the circus, and Ansley LOVED it. She actually watched what was going on. At least, during the first part. She slept during the second part and missed the elephants and lions.

3-13

After the circus, Ans and I went to spend the weekend with Paul's parents. My kid is a total TV junkie. But, more than just TV, she loves watching sports. Here, she enjoys some March Madness with Pap-Pap.

3-14

Some family friends were staying with the in-laws, so Ansley spent some time with the girls!

OK. There's five days. Only about two week's worth left to upload.

I seem to be missing a few hours in my days. Can someone let me know if they have some extra they would like to loan? I could really use them...

Epic day of Failure

It finally happened. All of my education could not prevent it. I've fought it and said "Oh, that'll never happen to me." And, it did. And it won't let go.

I am talking about "Mommy-brain." Walk with me through a day, just a week and a half ago, almost 6 months out from D-Day (that's Delivery Day, not the day the Allied troops landed in Normandy, just FYI).

The day started out wonderfully. Ansley and I were at the in-laws, since Paul was working all weekend. Ansley's clothes were ironed, my clothes were clean, and we were both fed and ready to go to church ON TIME (pretty sure it's only happened about 3 times total since she's been born. Yeah, it's that bad). What ensued was a day full of failure. An Epic Day of Fail, if you will.

So, I strap a bib on the kid since she is notorious for puking on herself in the car as we drive or as we are walking into church. I get to church and start to get her out.

Fail #1: She had on a bib that said "Handsome like Daddy" Luckily, I caught it before we left the parking lot.

Fail #2: AFTER church was over, my MIL looks at me kinda funny, and says, "I think your cardigan is on inside out." After quick inspection, I humbly agreed, and quickly switched it around.

Fail #3: Playing with Ansley. Apparently, since she didn't puke that morning, she had been saving it for the afternoon. And, she shared it with me. And the inside of my shirt. Which, led to...

Fail #4: While cleaning up the puke off my chest, I noticed that my camisole was on backwards.

And, you know what? It hasn't let up since then.

Two days ago, I was sure I knew a back road to get to Walmart from my parents house. Yeah, I ended up in the next county over.

And, before that, I was filling out a mileage sheet for work. "Hmm, that trip was 33.5 miles one way, so it was 67 miles total, times .5 per mile..." AND I USED A CALCULATOR, which gave me the answer of 33.5!

And, I couldn't figure out why my hair straightener wasn't working. It wasn't on.

But, the biggest fail of all? When I got excited because A rolled from belly to back, and the hubs said, "Oh, I haven't seen her do that one yet..." You mean you've seen her do another one? "Yeah, she rolls from back to belly all the time. For about 2 months now."

Which, just to point out, I have yet to see. But, letting that slip, that was his fail. And it's so much worse than mine, right?

Get your facts straight

Dear people who comment on my child,

I first want to thank you for taking time to "goo" and "gaa" at my child. I love the attention, and knowing that I baked a cute kiddo brings a smile to my face. However, if I have to inform you one more time that "he" is not "handsome," but, rather, "she" is "beautiful," I may have to punch you in the throat. Consider yourself warned.

To keep all confusion to a minimum, notice the pink blanket she always has, as well as the pink outfits, or those with flowers or butterflies. In the event that she does not have the pink blanket, notice the bow in her hair, the pink pacifier, or the pink and purple snail hanging from her carrier, m'kay?

In addition, please do not tell me she "sure is healthy," or ask if I'm feeding her too much. She's chubby. She's curvy. She's a butterball. All this, I know. Though she is healthy, you don't need to point that out. And, yes, she is my child. Trust me, I was there.

Finally, thank you for greeting us at church this week. And, no. I don't normally dress my son in a dress. With pink butterflies on it.

Thankyouverymuch,
The Mommy

Life

It's amazing how few things you get accomplished when there is something you have to do at work :o)

As the weekend quickly approaches, my "to do" list continues to grow. That list includes finishing at least one of the three started but unfinished posts, as well as taking those clothes to Goodwill. Yup, still haven't done that yet.

That list also includes spending a beautiful Saturday at home with the hubs. He has the weekend off and I am so.stinkin'.excited.

However, I must make this quick, as Paul will be home in the next few minutes. And I haven't even started dinner. Well, I have turned the oven on to preheat, but we know how much trouble frozen pizzas are.

Blessing Counter

Reason # 5,908 I am blessed: my child.

Recently, I've been touched by a family in Texas. I feel so close to them, yet I've never even met them. I've never spoken to them. I've never even seen them across a crowded room. But my heart breaks for them.

A few days ago, I found myself crying in the shower. Crying for a little girl named Layla. I had only known about Layla for a few days. But, in those few days, her story touched my life.

You see, Layla, a beautiful little two-year-old, was diagnosed with nueroblastoma last year. After intensive chemotherapy at the end of 2009, the Marsh family was given only a few months with Layla.

But, those months were taken, as Layla's doctor discovered two more tumors in February. I came into the picture just as Layla was making her exit.

I happened upon her family's blog, Layla Grace, and couldn't pull myself away. I read many of the postings, going back to the first post made. And I was amazed. And it hurt me.

I was amazed at the beauty of the little girl, and her eyes that were so full of life. And I was hurt by the recent family pictures. Though absolutely beautiful, how difficult it must have been knowing this would be some of the last photos with your little girl.

I was amazed at the faith the family had. Despite their circumstances, they continued to lift up the Lord's name, praising Him for their gifts, and trusting in His perfect timing. And, I was hurt, because I had to admit, if I were in their shoes, it would be very difficult for me to do the same thing.

I was amazed at the outpouring of love, and the compassion in every comment left on the blog. The entry from March 7, the last before Layla passed, had over 1,000. Who knows how many stumbled upon the site and didn't comment. And I was hurt because I didn't feel like words were enough to heal their hearts. I wanted to fly to Texas, and do something. Anything. But there was nothing I could do.

So, I cried. I cried in the shower because I felt like my own heart was breaking. I cried because it didn't seem fair. I cried because my little girl was sleeping just down the hall, while Layla had left the arms of her family. I cried because they were so strong, and I was weak.

I would never wish their story on anyone. But I can't stop thinking about their ultimate devotion. Even in their utter misery, they managed to encourage me. Me, some 1,000 miles away. Not in the same position. The Lord used them to speak to me.

And, each day, I've hugged Ansley a little longer. I've laughed with her a little more, and I've tried to make each day precious. Even when she is crying and won't take a nap, I'm trying to remind myself that Ansley is not mine. She has been given to me to care for and love, and despite my objections, that time is not guarenteed.

So, remember the Marsh family, as they adjust to life apart from Layla Grace. And tonight, count your blessings. I know I will. And I'll probably throw a few extra in, because I'm sure I've forgotten more than I can count.

This post in honor of Layla Grace Marsh.

Shameless

So, since I've started blogging myself, I've started following other mommy blogs. Some make me pee my pants cause I'm laughing so hard (thankyouverymuch Blair. I've purchased dozens of new undies, especially after reading about the wet seat cushion).

Other blogs have brought tears, and an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my little one. And, some blogs have connected me with old friends.

But, some blogs offer free stuff. And this, my friends, is what it is all about.

So, over on Adventures of Baby Kaitlyn, it is the giveaway I have been waiting for. Those cute little knitted (or crocheted) baby hats with the flowers. To.die.for.

I see other babies with these hats on, and wish I had the devotion to make one myself. Sure, I can knit. But I should probably finish the 5 different scarfs I have started first. Or, maybe that baby blanket. Or maybe that blanket I started for my mom. Three years ago.

But why make one yourself when you can enter different giveaways, and hopefully get one yourself, all while being lazy and just writing about it. Score.

So, head on over to Adventures of Baby Kaitlyn (Adventures of Baby Kaitlyn) and enter for yourself. Just don't blog about it. Cause that won't get you any extra entries. Not even three.

Oldies

So, because I went into labor five weeks early, we were not prepared for Ansley's arrival. We managed to make it to the hospital with most things in tow:



Hairdrier, mousse, comfy clothes, slippers, plenty of socks, soap, shampoo, even conditioner, make-up, toothbrush, toothpaste, cell phones, chargers, a great book to read.


However, we forgot one very important item. The camera.


Yes, that's right. I had my very first child and didn't have a camera to document it. Now, you may be thinking the problem could have been solved in a number of ways. Let's take a look.


"Have your hubby run home and get it." Yeah, that would have been a great idea. If we didn't live a little over an hour from the hospital. It was a no go.


"Have your parents bring theirs when they come." My parents were in New Mexico helping my sister move, while Paul's parents were in Arizona on a business trip. Yup, that option was out.


"Run to a Walmart and pick up a disposable." Not only did little Ansley decide to come 5 weeks early, she decided to arrive during the worst flooding I have seen in my lifetime. It started raining the afternoon I was in labor, and didn't stop for about five days. By the time she made her entrance, several roads were closed and the parking lot was under water. The hospital eventually stopped letting people come and go. If you were there, you were staying, if you were coming, you weren't getting through the road blocks.


Luckily, in today's world of gadgets and gizmos a plenty, I did happen to have my camera phone. Not that the pictures are top quality or anything, but at least we have a couple. Besides, everyone was in such a rush after she was born, we didn't get to hold her or even take any pictures until she was already in the NICU.


So, after months, and months of not doing anything, I finally made it a point to get the early pictures off my phone. I thought I would share just a couple.

So, there they are. The first pictures of little A. Every day I'm still amazed that she was such a close part of me. Now, even at the ripe old age of 5 months, she has a temper and a selfish streak that can give any Diva a run for their money.

But, she still has her moments. Her sweet, cuddly moments when she's had enough of the outside world, and she's ready to be back with Mommy. She grabs her little bear, takes her binkie and snuggles in to Mommy's neck for a rest. And it is during those times, when I feel her warm breath, or her constant hiccups, that I'm reminded of when we would settle into bed. I would get comfy, then Ansley would shift around, and after a few kicks to the ribs, she would settle in, and we would sleep.

Drug by the Wagon

So, can you fall off a wagon if you never really get on?

Last week, I posted about wanting to document each day as I saw it. Whether with a picture or paragraph, I wanted to capture each minute and make it a moment.

Guess what? I'm still on track!

Yes, though the photos have yet to be posted, they have been taken. One night, I sat down to post them, and my computer freaked out and shut down and changed all the settings. It was possessed. I swear.

But, we're good to go now, and I'm combining a couple in this one post.

3-1

It's starting to get warmer outside, which means Bunker gets to run around more rather than being cooped up in the kitchen. After a day of chasing the birds and howling at distant trains, he had nothing left. That's about how I felt.

3-2

First of all, I couldn't exactly put a picture of my naked baby online. However, I could not pass up this opportunity. Hence, the lovely cloud. It seems every night at bath time, Rascal cannot handle the fact that the babe has a squeeky toy that she does not. Several times, she has climbed right on in the tub to get that duck. It is normally a battle. Ansley has the duck. Rascal takes the duck. Ansley starts crying. I take the duck from Rascal, clean it, give it to Ansley. Rascal starts whining. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

3-3

Paul has become known by the third shift cashiers at Walmart as "the flower guy." He frequently brings home beautiful flowers. They are quite a pleasant treat. When I first started this job a year ago, he had flowers sent to the office every Tuesday for about three months. Needless to say, I've got a lot of dried flowers and about 12 of the same single flower vase. I wonder if I could get some store credit for returning those to the florist. Or, all the coat hangers we get from the dry cleaners...hmm...

3-4

Ok, so I didn't take this picture. But this is the best.stinkin'.teether.EVER. I know everyone loves their Sophie, but I am not cool enough to own one, so, therefore my child will just have to accept the fact that she doesn't get the trendy toys or clothes. Ok, the trendy clothes part is a lie. She's the best dressed kid this side of our street. But, this teether, a gift from Grandma and Pap-pap, is wonderful. It vibrates. She got this on Thursday, and it has quickly become her favorite. I think the vibrating tickles her, cause she scruntches up her face when it starts going. Oh, and just a side note. If you happen to be riding in the car and feel the floorboard start to vibrate, be sure you check to see if this toy is in the diaper bag that your feet are on BEFORE you start freaking out about the wheel falling off, m'kay?

3-5

Ok. Don't judge me. Seriously. This is a bag of clothes that I set aside to donate to Goodwill. Four months ago. It's been sitting at the foot of my bed for FOUR MONTHS. Yes, that's right. Oh, and, Goodwill is only about 5 minutes from my house. The worst part? The longer the bag sits there, the more things I look at and think "Hmm, I may wear that one day." On second thought, judge me. Maybe then I'll be motivated to get them out of the house.

3-6

Yes, this picture was taken in front of my microwave. Because that's where I was when I remembered to take a picture Saturday night. Though Saturday was a ton of fun, complete with Ansley's first birthday party (not her first birthday party, but her first birthday party. Got it?), it wasn't till I got home that I remembered what I was trying to do. And, not that I'm trying to turn this into a political debate about abortion, but I work for a pregnancy clinic. We had a fundraising banquet recently and brought in $15,000 above the goal! I look at this pin now, and can't believe that Ansley's feet were that size, just about a year ago.

3-7

Here it is! Ansley's Easter dress! Now, I know the point is often to see just how many layers of lacey, frilly, flowery fabric you can squeeze your little one into on Easter, but I could not pass this up. Not only was it a great deal, but it screams "I'm going to be First Lady one day!" Is it not a little Jackie O dress in baby size?? I.LOVE.IT. Plus, she'll be able to wear it other than just for Easter, though I fought the temptation to put her in it this past week for church. Children's Place. Check it out.

So, there it is. My first week of daily documentation. Done. Taking the pictures wasn't the hard part. Finding the time to put them on here was.

And, what have I learned? Well, everything I look at I now ask myself "Is this worth a daily documentation?" It really makes me stop and think. What are the moments that I hope to store away, and what are those that are humbling? Hopefully, I'll be able to be completely honest with these, in hopes that I can keep myself accountable for things I plan to do. Like going to Goodwill. I should try to do that today. Or maybe tomorrow.

Ahh, the simple things

As the weather starts to get warmer, and then colder, then warmer again, and then, colder (hey, it's the south. What do you expect?), I've found myself enjoying the simple things that I seem to take for granted so easily.

Like the birds. I never thought I would find myself as one who enjoys watching birds, but I flippin' love it. No joke.

A few weeks ago, we hung a blue bird house in the back yard that Paul built. His sisters got one for Christmas, and he made an extra for us. Within two days, we had a blue bird couple move in.

We are able to watch the birds from our laundry room. The back wall is full of windows, and my wonderful husband washed them inside and out for my viewing pleasure.

As I sit and watch the birds, I can't help but think about how simple life really is for the birds. We make sure they are well fed. We've supplied a bird house, and every few weeks they get a special treat: moldy bread.

And, I watch them. I watch the momma robins search for worms. I watch the sapsuckers eat the suet, and perch from tree to tree. I watch the cardinals- probably my favorites- fill the ground and the feeders. At one point in time, I watched 12 take in a hearty meal.

I watch the doves try to eat from the feeders, and watch as they give up because they are too big. They eventually sit on the ground and wait for the leftovers that get pushed out. I watch the occasional blue jay muscle it's way around, causing all the others to fly off.

I watch the squirrels figure out ways to get to the seeds. Sometimes they hang from one feeder and try to reach for the others. Some times, they munch on the feeders themselves until they can easily reach the seed.

What I've discovered is that when I take the time to slow down, and watch the simple things, I seem to enjoy life more. When I take the time to just watch Ansley, rather than worrying about "keeping the schedule," we laugh together. And I just melt.

When I look at the simple things, like how much I love Paul, the big things aren't as overwhelming. Sure, the bills still have to be paid, but I know they will be.

The simple things in life often get away from us. I've been so concerned about Ansley learning to roll over that I'm missing all the simple things she's doing. Like discovering new toys. Or finding her feet. Or carrying on a conversation with her mobile. Even if it is 3 a.m.

This post isn't funny, or witty, and I've decided that's ok. Because sometimes I mask what's really going on in an attempt to get a laugh. And then, we all miss it.

I want to take each minute and make it a moment. And, I want to document it, either by picture or words. It's not going to be easy, and they may not be posted daily, but I hope to keep this going, and I challenge you to do the same.

I'll start with a month. Then, maybe two. And I'll see where it goes. Some days, maybe I will capture that roll. Other days, it may just be something simple, like my tulips that are breaking through the winter ground.

Enjoy the simple pleasures. Like a good book and cup of hot chocolate on a snowy day in March. Or, let the babe enjoy the bath a little longer, even if it does push bedtime back. Because you may miss something, and my may not be able to get that moment back.