Like, watching 16 and Pregnant. Or Teen Mom. Awesome.
So, last week, I was looking for some pictures of womb babies. One thing led to another, and to another, and before I knew it, I was watching birth videos. Yes, that's right. I watched videos of other women's nether regions doing what seems physically impossible.
First, I opted for the water birth video. It was actually pretty tame, and awesome, so I continued on to my next feat: a natural birth.
Now, don't get me wrong. Labor hurts. Sure, maybe I wimped out by getting the epi, but that was after 18 hours without one. But this woman was screaming. And Wailing. And Crying. And Cursing. Out.Loud. There was no attempt at going to a calming place. No rythmic breathing. Just camera shots of things I didn't want to see, followed by shots of her 4 year old son asking his dad why mommy's privates looked like that.
No kidding. Now, I love Ansley. And, she'll be with us at the hospital with the next one. But I'm not planning on giving her and anatomy lesson using Mommy as a life size model. Ain't gonna do it.
Eventually, that baby made it's way out, but, golly, it wasn't easy.
Then, as though I had not had enough, I watched a video of a c-section. I honestly thought that after the natural birth, watching the c-section wouldn't be a big deal. Fail.
After meeting the couple, I learned about the different incisions that can be made for a c-section. Then, Freddy Crugar made his appearance, in OBGYN form.
They sliced her. Not a big deal. I can handle that. The thing that got me was seeing them pull the abs apart. Barf. I think I actually gagged. Then, they sliced the uterus, and pulled this fat little baby head out. and let it sit there for a little bit. So, here's this mom with a head coming out of her abdomen. Aliens, anyone?
A coworker heard my gags, and asked what I was watching. I told him, and he responded "Cool! Let me see!" So I watched it. AGAIN!
It made me very happy that I turned down the doc's offer to position a mirror so I could watch Ansley being born. Yeah. I didn't watch my own kid come out, but I watched three other women as they birthed their babes, crowning and all.
So, I thought I would share a birth video with my readers! This isn't one of the previously mentioned videos. This will not scar you, but you may pee your pants from laughing. Enjoy!
p.s.- This is a scene from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. Don't judge me, but I think it's freakin' hilarious.