I cannot make decisions. Period.
When I'm getting ready for work in the mornings, rarely do I wear the first thing I put on. Unfortunately, I've found myself doing this with my child as well. However, I've learned that Ansley doesn't care if the skirt makes her thighs look fat, and, sometimes, it's better to let her go unmatching than hog tying her to change her clothes.
Probably the biggest decision I have is knowing what I want to eat. This is how a typical conversation between me and the hubs goes:
Me: "Hey, let's go out to dinner." Him: "Ok, what do you want?" Me: "Hmm. I don't know. What do you want?" Him: "You made the suggestion, so you obviously had something in mind." Me: "How about Moe's?" Him: "That sounds good." Me: "We don't have to go there. We can go somewhere different." Him: "Moe's is fine. Do you really want Moe's?" Me: "I don't know. I was kinda thinking I was in the mood for some chicken. How about Chick-Fil-A?" Him: "Ok, that's fine." Me: "No, let's just go to Moe's" Him: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yeah. Just go to O'Charlies."
When we were picking baby names, I flip flopped about 17 times.
And picking a movie, forget it.
I cannot make decisions. It's almost impossible for me to do so. And many times, I end up avoiding whatever decision needs to be made (minus having to pick out an outfit. Avoiding that decision would mean running around naked, and even though I've cranked out a baby and have had people I've never met help me use the bathroom, naked is out.).
Which is why when I'm faced with big decisions, I tend to stick with what is known. What is comfortable. What isn't a stretch.
Ok, not even big decisions. Little ones too. Like I rarely order something new from a restaurant. Because I know I like it. And I'm too worried I'm not going to like something else.
And if I find a shirt I like, I tend to go back and buy it in every color. Because it isn't a stretch for me in the mornings to decide what to wear. When Old Navy had the super soft rouched V-neck shirts, I had like seven of them.
I always get the same haircut. I spent most of my time at Walmart in the shampoo section trying to decide what kind I want to use, only to ultimately buy what I always do.
But now, we've got to make some decisions. And I can't just avoid them.
I've got to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've got to decide if I want to try and sell our current house, and buy one that is cheaper, allowing us to save more money. And I can't decide.
And, I've got to decide what to do for Ansley's first birthday party. Zoo? Aquarium? Baseball game? Park? Nothing big because she won't remember it anyway?
And, I've got to decide when that first haircut should happen. Cause, that little side-sweep of her bangs is only going to work for so long.