McFatty... and a side of fries.

So, it's Monday.

And it seems like my days of low self-image happen on a Monday. Because Sunday is church, and my church clothes don't fit. And that makes me sad.

I've slacked off. I was doin' good, meeting with Jillian about three times a week, and dancing with Kym and Dimitri about twice a week. But, then I made a mistake. I stepped on the scale.

And when I did that, I lost all motivation. Because, really, it wasn't that bad.

And when I saw that number that hasn't been around since I was in my first trimester, I thought "Wow. So, I really only want to shed 5 pounds. 8 if I'm really motivated. That's so easy! I don't need to work so hard!"

That's 5 pounds, ya'll! That's it! Isn't that like water weight or something? I can lose that in no time.

So, I slacked. I got out of my routine. I stopped hanging out with Jillian, and met with Ben and Jerry instead. Because, I mean, seriously, it's just 5 pounds.

And then Sunday came. And when I busted out my fall dress clothes, and they didn't fit, I started crying. Because it's more difficult than just 5 pounds. It's where those pounds have made themselves home. Like, my thighs. And butt. And then I have all this stretched out skin on my belly from being pregnant, and I'm not really sure what to do with it. If I could position is correctly, and add just the right kind of fabric, I could just pretend it's my fav fanny-pack that I wear all the time.

So, I thought of a solution. Since everyone says that it's always the most difficult to lose that last 10 pounds of baby weight, and it's even more difficult to go about your day when you aren't comfortable in the way you look in your clothes, I decided something had to be done.

So, I went shopping. And bought new clothes, just a size up.

And, honestly, I feel better. And motivated. Because I'm not concerned about those 5 pounds. Sure, I want them gone, but I'd rather just tone what I've got. Because if I lose too much weight, all these new, super cute clothes won't fit!

Take that, you remaining baby weight, er, Ben and Jerry's weight! I'll get you yet.

Off the Face of the Earth

Ok, so I know I dropped off the face of the earth for just a little bit.

But, ya'll, I've been busy!

We celebrated Ansley's first birthday. We welcomed a house full of family for a weekend. We visited a very special little man that made his way into the world.

And, we've had some frustrations. Ok, so maybe a lot of them.

I love my daughter. With every ounce of my being, I love her from head to toe. But, sometimes she gets the best of me and I want to crawl in bed and just cry. Because I can't take it.

Overall, Ansley is a very good baby, er, toddler. With the exception of a bout with reflux which we were able to make some lifestyle adjustments for, she has been easy. She never fussed between breastfeeding and bottle feeding, took a variety of bottles and pacifiers, preferred to be put to bed awake, and didn't freak out when we stopped the bottle a couple months ago. She's never fussed about eating different foods, and actually prefers peas, and as I discovered last night, broccoli.

The only difficulty: the routine and schedule. Not setting it, but functioning without it.

I've heard that babies really enjoy having a routine. This I discovered early on with Ansley. Dinner, bath, playtime/snuggle, bottle, bed. She turned into a pumpkin at 8:30. And if we didn't follow this, she was a terror. As we discovered this weekend.

We took a trip to visit that new little man. Two hours away (though, really, it turned into about a 4 hour trip after dinner, ice cream, gas, tire pressure, yada yada yada). She slept in the car, which was fine, because we hit the road close to pumpkin time. What happened next, I can't really explain.

She was happy. She visited with Gramma and Pap-Pap. She played. She laughed. She was so.stinkin'.cute. But the time came when Mommy and Daddy were ready to hit the hay. So after another short car ride, it was bed time.

She went down easily, and I went to shower and get myself ready for bed. The mistake came when I reached in the crib and covered her with a blanket. She hadn't been asleep, but was just chillin'.

The sirens went off. Normally, I would let her cry. But, as guests in the house, I didn't want to wake those just down the hall. So, I put her in bed with us. Disclaimer: I know this is frowned upon in most circles, but I loved having Ansley sleep in our bed with she was younger. I liked cuddling, since she is opposed to that regularly.

Anywho, she couldn't get comfortable. Toss, turn, flip, turn, roll, toss, turn, jump, flop, climb, turn, toss, climb, roll, b-i-n-g-o. Ok, well, she wasn't crying, so how bout a few toys until she fades? Bang, laugh, howl, hoot, laugh, yell, bang, Bang, BANG, laugh, flop, flip, turn, use mommy and daddy as jungle gyms.

Next step: rocking in the recliner. Nope. Ain't.Gonna.Do.It. Ok, back to the bed. She slept for about 2 hours, and the process started over. Seriously, I finally took a blanket and tried to sleep on the floor hoping she would settle down if she had more room. Yep. I caught about an hour cat nap while she played with the car keys and the headboard.

It's so easy to have a kind heart for your child when they are upset, or ultra tired, or hungry. I found it very difficult to be patient when she was in a good mood and playing.

But it was 4 in the morning!!!!

And I haven't made up for it. When you have an infant that wakes in the middle of the night to eat, your body has learned to function with minimal sleep. But when your child has been sleeping through the night since 4 months, you get very angry. Especially when coffee isn't part of your vocab and you are a very grumpy person without sleep.

So, the point of this post? Don't feel like a bad parent for finding, and sticking with, a schedule or a routine. Obviously, you don't want to starve your child because it isn't dinner, but, speaking from experience, they really like that routine.

And, you know what? I do too.

A Walking Book of Words

Ansley may not have any teeth. She may not be able to really walk. But her vocabulary is quickly expanding.

It seems like every day, we get a new word. And, they're not just random words either. She will point to something AND NAME IT.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm watching Adam in the Garden. Ansley will look at an object, turn her head, and I can actually see the wheels turning. Then, she'll name it, and be pleased with herself.

A few days ago, she was sitting in the floor of the bathroom while I was getting ready for work. I stopped to watch her as I was certain she was about to dump everything out of the magazine rack. Instead, she picked up a magazine, turned it over a few times, said "book" and put it back in the rack.

I didn't know what to do! And, it keeps happening.

We've had "Momma" and "Dada" for some time. And, not just the random babbles, but actually reaching for us and saying our names. Then, we added "dog." Granted, anything with fur is currently a dog, and when we try to correct her to say "cat," she just starts laughing. We added "book," "nana" (which, means both "banana" and "want), "Nan A," "Poppa," and "blue."

I know that if I had "My Baby Can Read," Ansley would already have the Declaration of Independence memorized, but, we're going on what we've got here. And, honestly, I think we're doing good.