Is God fair?
This question is a double edged sword. Because we are told in scripture that He is just, and in our finite human minds, to us, that should mean that He is fair. But our very definition of the word is perverted.
"It isn't fair that I have to work Saturday."
"It isn't fair that they always have the finer things in life! We work so hard!"
But then, what about those bigger issues? We still toss around that simple word, selling ourselves short of what we really mean.
It isn't fair that some women struggle with infertility, while others have abortions.
It isn't fair that some children are born addicted to drugs.
It isn't fair that some children go without food, while the parents don't go without cigarettes.
It isn't fair that right now, Melissa, over at Three Times the Fun, just had to title her last post "Three cribs, minus one" because one of her 6 month old triplets, Owen, died.
THAT ISN'T FAIR.
And it hit me really hard. Because I live in a world that cries out for equality. Fairness. We raise our kids under the idea that every kid makes the team. Even if it means sitting the bench the entire season, or cutting the playing time of a kid that actually is good so parents don't get upset. If you plan on inviting one child to a birthday party, you have to invite the whole class, so no one's feelings get hurt.
All this does is keep kids from experiencing disappointment.
This feeling of entitlement? It carries over into adulthood. Entitled to disability, Medicare, Food Stamps. Entitled to have all the best stuff, without working for it. Entitled to drive that new Lexus, even if it means going to a pregnancy center to get help with diapers. Every week.
Jails are required to have luxuries, like cable. Because that is fair.
But is it fair that someone is going without their loved one, because of a decision made by someone else?
And I've grown up thinking that God is the ultimate judge. The ultimate in fairness. But, it isn't true.
Because if God were to be fair, and give us what we really deserve, it would not have been His son. He would give us the consequences for our rebellion. But, he doesn't. He isn't fair. Instead, He shows Grace. And Mercy. Instead of giving us what we do deserve, He blesses us with that which we don't deserve.
So, here I live. In a world that isn't fair. In a world that struggles to show grace and mercy. In a world that says fairness is expected. A world were people feel like they are owed. Like they deserve.
And I'm the same way. Because I feel entitled. Entitled to have a healthy next pregnancy, since the first one was a little rough. Entitled to have a raise at work, because I work my tail off. Entitled to have the husband cater to me, because I put Ansley to bed every night.
Entitled to that grace and mercy, because my sins aren't that bad.
I'm reminded of a beautiful song:
I am the thorn in Your crown, But You love me anyway
I am the sweat from Your brow, But You love me anyway
I am the nail in Your wrist, But You love me anyway
I am Judas’ kiss, But You love me anyway
That's what isn't fair.