Like Sand Through the Hourglass...

So are the Days of Our Lives.

Before you start thinking I'm going to write about how it is an insult to humankind to cancel soap operas, or, as my grandma so lovingly calls them, "stories," let me say that is NOT what this is about.

Honestly, I can say that I haven't watched a soap in, um...15 years? But, it is true. I was totally a fan.  Of Days of Our Lives and Passions, to be specific.

I'm pretty sure my siblings hated me during the summers. Because being home from school for 3 months meant that from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., I took charge of the television.  I have no idea why my parents let me watch them. And I can honestly say that they didn't really make sense to me. I knew early on that someone couldn't die, but then it be a faked death, but then a witch casts a spell on them and they lose their memory and then they really do die but they come back because the witch actually loved them.  On TV? 3 days. IRL? 3 years for that storyline to play out.

I used to think the best job in the world would be acting on a soap. So many different stories and so many different cute guys to kiss. I am not even kidding.

So, yeah, this isn't about that. It's about how I can't seem to get a grasp on time.  Each day feels like just a few hours, and before I know it, a whole week has gone by. Months ago, I put a down payment on a beach house for vacation. MONTHS. 6, actually.  And now, that trip is just 2 weeks away.

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally excited. I've been wishing time would go quickly so this trip would get here. It's our first family vacation. I don't mean me, Paul and the kiddo. I mean my family. My parents, my siblings, my sibs-in-law. Our first. EVER.

I've spent so much time wishing it to get here, that I've missed the simple beauty of every day.

I've spent a year and a half wishing for bedtime, only to end up with a kiddo that will be 2 in as many months.

I can remember being younger and feeling like time passed so slowly. It would never be Christmas. It would never be summer vacation. It would never be time for me to drive. It would never be time for me to graduate. College would never end. Marriage was so far away...

I celebrated 5 years of marriage. My 5 year college reunion is this fall. My 10 year high school reunion is next year. I took down the Christmas tree in Ansley's room about 2 months ago. And Christmas is in 5 months.

Where does it go? The time? When did I grow up? Because I feel like I'm missing so much. I go to sleep to wake up to a new day. Another X on the calendar. Another day of anticipating vacation, and counting until bedtime.

All I Long For...

... is time to catch up. On:
Life.
Blogging.
Laundry.
Housework.
Refinancing paper work.
Ansley's baby book.
House.
Grey's Anatomy.
The Office.
Office work.
Updating photos around the house.

And maybe time to get ahead. On:
Housework.
Blogging.
Bills.
Grocery shopping.
Potty training.
Project Binkie Gone

And, maybe just a little time for myself. For:
A warm bath.
A good book.
Shoe shopping.
Nails.
Hair.

But I'm not sure I'm willing to sacrifice:
Walks in the evenings with Ansley
Blowing bubbles.
Playing fetch with Rascal.
Quick chicken nugget dinners.
Sidewalk Chalk.
Wednesday Sister Dates for American Idol.
Hitting snooze 3 times each morning.

The Snowball Effect

I'm not talking about a cold nose or a sore face from catching one in the kisser (though, if that is a concern of yours as your children age, I recently came across a "safe snowball maker." So when your kids play in the snow, rather than making those dangerously deadly hand-packed snowballs, you can use this hand snowball maker to make soft, safe snowballs).

I'm talking about how when you get behind on one thing, you can't seem to catch up. And you get more and more and more behind, till eventually you decide it isn't even worth trying to get back in the swing of things.

I have not read any blogs in about a month. And I keep telling myself I'll get caught up, but even though I haven't been posting as frequently, I know my reads have been, and at this point, I wonder if I should go back and read the old posts, or simply pick up where they are. Or just not worry about it.

And, my daily document project. Yeah, that lasted almost a month. Maybe. But I love taking photos and showing off my kiddo. But really, it's just one more thing that I start and don't finish.  Like knitting. I have about 6 projects currently going. And, when I'm out and I find a really nice yarn, I buy it, because I would like something in that color, or I have a pattern that totally screams "Your sister would love this!" And now, I have a plethora of yarn, and haven't picked up knitting needles in about 6 months.

Or cleaning my house. When I'm so far behind on the dishes, what difference does it make to just add one more to the sink instead of washing it?

But, I have to keep telling myself that the slack I leave behind is picked up by the hubs. And he has so much on his plate, it isn't fair for me to keep piling dirty plates on.

So, my house isn't as clean as I like it. I have a bunch of unfinished projects. I don't know how any of my reads are doing. My camera hasn't been taken out of my bag in ages. But, tonight, I snuggled with Ansley. We rocked. We exchanged nose kisses. We laughed. We snuggled some more. And as I stood there cradling her ever growing body, and her eyelids got heavier and heavier, I can honestly say I wasn't thinking about everything that needed to be done. Because in that moment, I was doing exactly what I needed to do.

Don't you, forget about me. Don't, don't, don't, don't you...

I'm still here. Well, I suppose here is relative.

I'm sitting in a cottage in Fenwick Island. And tomorrow, we head home.

After spending a day in D.C., we're headed back home, hoping to arrive about 2 a.m. Saturday.

Plenty of stories, TONS of pictures, and probably another sad rambling about how I missed my sister's departure.

We'll laugh. We'll cry. Ansley will wet her pants while sitting on grandma's lap. True story.

Remind me to tell ya about it.

Ahh.

Sometimes the smallest things manage to put a smile on your face.

Like seeing a small puppy trying to climb up some steps.

Or watching a baby crawl to it's mother and reach to be picked up.

Or managing to ration your shampoo and conditioner perfectly enough to use the last of each during the same shower.

:o)