Recently

How's about a few pictures to give you a peek into our lives recently.

Baby Boy, set to arrive in May

We are excited about adding another arrow to the quiver. And not that I am disappointed, but I just haven't been impressed with the baby boy clothing options. And I know it is about so much more, but, seriously? It's like you really only have a few options: sports, frogs, trucks and dinos.  All great in their own right, but not nearly as cute as all those little girl options out there.

Christmas, 2011

We celebrated Christmas. It was fun and festive and special.  It was the first Christmas without everyone though.  My grandpa passed in September, and my little sis was hugely pregnant and wisely opted against the 20+ hour drive home.  But, we still had a fun time. Ansley seemed to enjoy it more this year, actually opening presents and wanting to play with her toys immediately.  She didn't get any clothes, which is proving to be a little bit of a problem. Cause she keeps growing. And Growing. And GROWING.  Seriously, since spring, she's gone up two sizes each season.  And now, with about 2 months of cold left, she has outgrown nearly all of her pants and shirts and winter dresses.  So, this is how she spends a lot of her time:

In "jommies"

OR

Sans clothing.

There are some battles I just don't feel like fighting these days. Most mornings, I drop her off with the sitter in her pjs. Well, not the sitter in her pjs, but Ansley in her pjs.  On the weekends, we are both in our pjs until the afternoon. And, sometimes, she doesn't have any clothes on at all. And, I'm ok with that. 

So, that's what we have been up to. Babies and toddlers and holidays and... just, stuff.

It's a good life though, and we're happy to live it.

Here's the Deal

Ok, so, I know I've been kinda MIA lately. And then I get back on here and I'm all like "I've been so busy and I miss blogging and writing and as soon as things settle down and get back to normal I'll be back" and yadda yadda yadda.

Well, I suppose it is finally time to come clean. I've been exhausted. And tired. And sick.  And...

well...

pregnant.





NOT!  Sorry, couldn't resist. I know everyone is just waiting for that announcement, but you'll just have to keep waiting.

Truth is... I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but, about three months ago, we took the plunge into somewhat recent television-hood and subscribed to streaming Netflix. And I've been like a little kid in a candy shop ever since.

I've watched River Monsters. All of them.  And Numb3rs. Most of them. And some 24, and some Mythbusters, and some great documentaries (The Kennedy's, anyone?)

But, what takes up most of my viewing pleasure?  McDreamy. And McSteamy.

Yes, that's right. For the past 3 months, I've averaged about 1.5 episodes every 2 days.  Now I must insert a disclaimer that the hubs works evenings, so I'm not sacrificing that time. And I watch after Ansley is in bed.  And I make sure the house and things are cleaned up.

But then, I spend about 47 minutes in Seattle, roaming the halls of Seattle Grace hospital.

I've always been a sucker for medical dramas, so this isn't anything new. And, I used to watch the episodes as they aired, but even though the switch to digital was supposed to be so much better, I get fewer channels now than I did before, and the channels I do get don't have sound. So, yeah, Netflix was to us what indoor plumbing was to my grandparents.

At least, I think they grew up without it.  I know my grandmother certainly appreciates it now.

Maybe it's more like a porta-potty. Not quite as nice as the real thing, but it beats using a tree.

Purging

Here ya go. A raw, rough, vomit of thoughts, right here for the whole world wide web to see:

Frustration, anxiety, joy, sadness, 70 years, puppy breath, planning, failing, falling, jumping, swimming, sliding, drafting, heart attacks, flowers, diaper rash, babies, nieces, nephews, drunk, expectations, alone, 25 cent sale, the jailhouse, fuzzy socks, refinancing, abudant blessings, empty account, big decisions, practicing, cleaning, forgiving, forgetting, celebrating, mourning, arguing, waking, sleeping, working, playing, baseball, grocery shopping, visiting, hugging, laughing, yelling, raining, giving up, letting go, chocolate, soda, scentsy, overnight trip, couponing, picture taking, picture printing, missing, no blogging, wishing for blogging, reading, watching, driving, Moe's Southwest Grill, baby brother, best friends, worst enemies, baby girl, Seinfeld, fish food, time off, the beach, 7 little words, words with friends, a loss for words, texting, xanax, smoking, not smoking, color, bedding, potty training, not potty training......... bleh.

Like Sand Through the Hourglass...

So are the Days of Our Lives.

Before you start thinking I'm going to write about how it is an insult to humankind to cancel soap operas, or, as my grandma so lovingly calls them, "stories," let me say that is NOT what this is about.

Honestly, I can say that I haven't watched a soap in, um...15 years? But, it is true. I was totally a fan.  Of Days of Our Lives and Passions, to be specific.

I'm pretty sure my siblings hated me during the summers. Because being home from school for 3 months meant that from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m., I took charge of the television.  I have no idea why my parents let me watch them. And I can honestly say that they didn't really make sense to me. I knew early on that someone couldn't die, but then it be a faked death, but then a witch casts a spell on them and they lose their memory and then they really do die but they come back because the witch actually loved them.  On TV? 3 days. IRL? 3 years for that storyline to play out.

I used to think the best job in the world would be acting on a soap. So many different stories and so many different cute guys to kiss. I am not even kidding.

So, yeah, this isn't about that. It's about how I can't seem to get a grasp on time.  Each day feels like just a few hours, and before I know it, a whole week has gone by. Months ago, I put a down payment on a beach house for vacation. MONTHS. 6, actually.  And now, that trip is just 2 weeks away.

Don't get me wrong. I'm totally excited. I've been wishing time would go quickly so this trip would get here. It's our first family vacation. I don't mean me, Paul and the kiddo. I mean my family. My parents, my siblings, my sibs-in-law. Our first. EVER.

I've spent so much time wishing it to get here, that I've missed the simple beauty of every day.

I've spent a year and a half wishing for bedtime, only to end up with a kiddo that will be 2 in as many months.

I can remember being younger and feeling like time passed so slowly. It would never be Christmas. It would never be summer vacation. It would never be time for me to drive. It would never be time for me to graduate. College would never end. Marriage was so far away...

I celebrated 5 years of marriage. My 5 year college reunion is this fall. My 10 year high school reunion is next year. I took down the Christmas tree in Ansley's room about 2 months ago. And Christmas is in 5 months.

Where does it go? The time? When did I grow up? Because I feel like I'm missing so much. I go to sleep to wake up to a new day. Another X on the calendar. Another day of anticipating vacation, and counting until bedtime.

Eating Words

Before I became a mother, there were certain things I said I would never do:

Go to the bathroom with a random nurse in the room.
Let my kiddo nap on her tummy.
Consider mac and cheese a meal for my child.
Keep a binkie after a year old.
Catch puke with my hands.
Catch poop with my hands.
Send the kiddo to bed with a cup.
Consider pink and purple as acceptable clothing and paint options.
Let my child go barefoot in public.
Take my child out in pajamas.
Let my child out of the house with messy hair.
Enjoy open mouth, slobbery baby kisses.
Enjoy shopping for her more than shopping for me.
Wear a shirt that has some baby pee on it because I was running too late to change.
Look forward to going to bed at 9 (myself)
Consider cereal or pop tarts an acceptable dinner for me.
Cry when I left the baby with a sitter for the first time.
Leave without make-up on and my hair fixed.
Wear jeans twice without washing in between.
Cosleep.
Be too tired for ice cream.
Give my child medicine if she doesn't meet the age requirement.
Consider being a stay at home Mom.




Does this make me feel like a failure? Nope. It makes me feel like "Mommy."

Steppin' Out

So, I'm jumping on another bandwagon. Because it is so much easier to follow a trend than start your own, right? I used to think of myself as a leader, but let's take a look:

Blog, not my idea. Just read some all the time, and decided to start one

McFatty Monday: Just a follower (and not a very good one at that)

And now, Steppin' Out. And I follow.

Anywho, this Steppin' Out thing. Mandy over at Harpers Happenings (great read, check it out. And her kiddo is super cute), along with some other of my top reads, have super cute clothes, and wanted to show them off. I'm totally on board with that. I like lusting over other people's cute clothes! I don't have any particularly cute clothes myself, but Ansley does, so I'm totally joining in!

So, here's what I got for you. Unfortunately, I'm normally the one behind the camera, so this means I'll have to make a better effort at being in front of the camera (which, I really don't like doing. AT.ALL.)

Me

Shirt, Old Navy, last year

Jeans, can't see, but also Old Navy, this year

Shoes, Chacos in need of repair

Ansley

Shirt, Old Navy

Jeans, Old Navy

Sparkly Pink tennis shoes, Walmart

Too cute not to have two photos.  Now that I'm on board, hopefully we'll get some better shots.  And, I promise, not all of our clothes are from Old Navy. Just a large percentage of them.

So, go check out Harpers Happenings, and, maybe take a step out of your own!

Uh oh.

I've discovered Twitter. Not that it needed discovering. It's been out there for awhile, and I've turned my nose at it.

Like I did to facebook.  I didn't have a facebook account, or even MySpace, until I was out of college. A few years. So I'm not even included in the same network as all my college friends.  But, whatev. My hubs still doesn't have a facebook. And says he never will. That is, until I need another friend for some other stupid game I manage to waste time with and create an account for him.

What was I talking about? Wasting time? Oh, right. Twitter. Yeah, so, I tweet. A few times already.

And I'm possibly addicted.

And it's not even that I'm particularly cool. Or have a large number of people that care to know what's going on AT.ALL.TIMES. Or even that I follow a lot of people.

But, honestly, it's fun. And possibly feels a little more personal than blogging. Maybe. I'm not sure yet. I'll let you know.

Maybe I should see that movie "The Social Network." Cause I'm all netted, and it may become a lot of work trying to keep up with everything. I suppose the answer is a better phone. Or, at least, legit internet at the house.

It's 4:51, and I'm SO glad it's Friday.

One down, a few to go

So, we went to look at that house a few days ago. That one that seemed WAY to good to be true.



You know, 30K cheaper and 800 more square feet. Newer construction. More land. Wrap-around porch AND dormer windows!! All that comes to mind when I think "dream house." With a few exceptions.



I don't know you, mister listing agent, but "3 bedrooms" means three rooms with closets! Not two rooms downstairs, plus a HUGE bonus room upstairs. Bonus room=awesome. Having to divide the room to make more bedrooms=stab me with a dull spoon.



Wood paneled toilet lids, not cool. Textured wallpaper in the ENTIRE house, tacky. Particle board cabinets, cheap.

You know, sometimes, old light fixtures look pretty cool. In this case, they just looked like a flashback from the 80s. And it wasn't even a good flashback.



Plus, when you mention to someone who built the house and they say "Are you sure you even want to look at it?" Pretty good hint that the builder isn't known in a positive light.

So, I guess that means one decision has been made. We're going to stay put. Which, ultimately, I think I wanted anyway. We may not have the largest of closets, and our doors may creak a little, but it's character. And you always seem to cheer for the character that's been around the longest.

Welcome home, Soyster family. Welcome home.

Creature of Habit

I cannot make decisions. Period.

When I'm getting ready for work in the mornings, rarely do I wear the first thing I put on. Unfortunately, I've found myself doing this with my child as well. However, I've learned that Ansley doesn't care if the skirt makes her thighs look fat, and, sometimes, it's better to let her go unmatching than hog tying her to change her clothes.

Probably the biggest decision I have is knowing what I want to eat. This is how a typical conversation between me and the hubs goes:

Me: "Hey, let's go out to dinner." Him: "Ok, what do you want?" Me: "Hmm. I don't know. What do you want?" Him: "You made the suggestion, so you obviously had something in mind." Me: "How about Moe's?" Him: "That sounds good." Me: "We don't have to go there. We can go somewhere different." Him: "Moe's is fine. Do you really want Moe's?" Me: "I don't know. I was kinda thinking I was in the mood for some chicken. How about Chick-Fil-A?" Him: "Ok, that's fine." Me: "No, let's just go to Moe's" Him: "Are you sure?" Me: "Yeah. Just go to O'Charlies."

When we were picking baby names, I flip flopped about 17 times.

And picking a movie, forget it.

I cannot make decisions. It's almost impossible for me to do so. And many times, I end up avoiding whatever decision needs to be made (minus having to pick out an outfit. Avoiding that decision would mean running around naked, and even though I've cranked out a baby and have had people I've never met help me use the bathroom, naked is out.).

Which is why when I'm faced with big decisions, I tend to stick with what is known. What is comfortable. What isn't a stretch.

Ok, not even big decisions. Little ones too. Like I rarely order something new from a restaurant. Because I know I like it. And I'm too worried I'm not going to like something else.

And if I find a shirt I like, I tend to go back and buy it in every color. Because it isn't a stretch for me in the mornings to decide what to wear. When Old Navy had the super soft rouched V-neck shirts, I had like seven of them.

I always get the same haircut. I spent most of my time at Walmart in the shampoo section trying to decide what kind I want to use, only to ultimately buy what I always do.

But now, we've got to make some decisions. And I can't just avoid them.

I've got to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life. I've got to decide if I want to try and sell our current house, and buy one that is cheaper, allowing us to save more money. And I can't decide.

And, I've got to decide what to do for Ansley's first birthday party. Zoo? Aquarium? Baseball game? Park? Nothing big because she won't remember it anyway?

And, I've got to decide when that first haircut should happen. Cause, that little side-sweep of her bangs is only going to work for so long.

Whew. May I please be myself now?

Dearest blog,
How I've missed you! I've missed our time together, our secret meetings during the work day. And I've certainly felt our separation.

You calm me, and listen to my emotional ramblings, and help me work through them before I even think about hashing out the roughest cuts with the hubs. You help me get-and keep- my perspective on the busy world around me.

You help me keep track of my kiddo, and remember the things that make me laugh. You're a photo album, and lead me on walks down memory lane.

Please don't take it personally. I just haven't been able to sit down and enjoy a cup of tea with you. For one, we spent a wonderful week on vacation. Secondly, our air conditioning took it's own vacation for a week, and when the temps bottoming out around 85, sitting in the room that doesn't have a ceiling fan isn't my idea of fun. Also, Ansley decided that because of the 2 aforementioned issues, she did not have to adjust accordingly. She didn't sleep well, often waking up as though she just showered, and wanted to be held but not really cause that just made her warmer.

But I want to get back with you. We have so much to catch up on. Like the vacation, and that week Satan allowed some of his homies to visit my house, in the form of a broken AC.

And I'll promise I'll be better about keeping our dates. But I've got to be honest. If the hubs is around, you've got to hit the road.

Smooches!

My 99 things

Per my sister...


99 things you should do before you die. A generic bucket list, if you will. Feel free to copy and paste, striking through the ones you've completed.

1. Started your own blog


2. Slept under the stars


3. Played in a band


4. Visited Hawaii


5. Watched a meteor shower


6. Given more than you can afford to charity


7. Been to Disneyland


8. Climbed a mountain


9. Held a praying mantis


10. Sang a solo


11. Bungee jumped


12. Visited Paris


13. Watched a lightning storm


14. Taught yourself an art from scratch


15. Adopted a child


16. Had food poisoning


17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty


18. Grown your own vegetables


19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France


20. Slept on an overnight train


21. Had a pillow fight


22. Hitch-hiked


23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill


24. Built a snow fort


25. Held a lamb


26. Gone skinny dipping


27. Run a marathon


28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice


29. Seen a total eclipse


30. Watched a sunrise or a sunset


31. Hit a home run


32. Been on a cruise


33. Seen Niagara Falls in person


34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors


35. Seen an Amish community


36. Taught yourself a new language


37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied


38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person


39. Gone rock climbing


40. Seen Michelangelo's David


41. Sung karaoke


42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt


43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant


44. Visited Africa


45. Walked on a beach by moonlight


46. Been transported in an ambulance


47. Had your portrait painted


48. Gone deep-sea fishing


49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person


50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris


51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling


52. Kissed in the rain


53. Played in the mud


54. Gone to a drive-in theater


55. Been in a movie


56. Visited the Great Wall of China


57. Started a business


58. Taken a martial arts class


59. Visited Russia


60. Served at a soup kitchen


61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies


62. Gone whale watching


63. Got flowers for no reason


64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma


65. Gone sky diving


66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp


67. Bounced a check


68. Flown in a helicopter


69. Saved a favorite childhood toy


70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial


71. Eaten caviar


72. Pieced a quilt


73. Stood in Times Square


74. Toured the Everglades


75. Been fired from a job


76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London


77. Broken a bone


78. Been on a speeding motorcycle


79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person


80. Published a book


81. Visited the Vatican


82. Bought a brand new car


83. Walked in Jerusalem


84. Had your picture in the newspaper


85. Read the entire Bible


86. Visited the White House


87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating


88. Had the chicken pox


89. Saved someone's life


90. Sat on a jury


91. Met someone famous


92. Joined a book club


93. Lost a loved one


94. HAD A BABY


95. Seen the Alamo in person


96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake


97. Been involved in a lawsuit


98. Owned a cell phone


99. Been stung by a bee

Now, I suppose some must be explained. I donated blood, so I count that as saving a life. I've had a caricature made, and I counted that as having my portrait painted. I fought the temptation to mark off seeing David and Old Faithful, because those two do not say "in person," but I decided not to battle over technicalities.

If anyone happens to be planning a trip to Europe and needs someone to tag along, let me know cause I have a lot of things still to mark off.

Happy Hump Day!

Stop it, Right now!

Ansley is 20 days from being 9 months old.

Let me repeat that. 9 MONTHS OLD.

I always hear people saying "Oh, it will go by so fast. Treasure every moment." I just wish someone had warned me that it would go by this fast. I haven't even finished her room yet!

Here's the latest:

We have a crawler...almost. I guess we have more of a lunger. She'll get on her hands and knees, rock back and forth a little, then lunge herself forward. 9 out of 10 times, it results in a face plant into the floor. She has mastered moving backwards though.

She may look like her daddy, but she has her aunt's attitude. No joke. When she first started eating solids, it was kinda cute to watch her sputter out what she didn't like. Cute is no more. If she doesn't like what you are feeding her, it will either end up on your face, or each bite will be followed by a loud grunting scream.

She's also becoming a fit-pitcher, turning bright red, clenching her jaw and fists, and then screaming when she doesn't get her way. Whether it's yucky food, mommy's sunglasses being taken away, or daddy not stopping to say hi while passing through the living room. Who knew babies could be impatient?

Sometimes, I'm pretty sure she's going to turn green and rip her clothes off. My family calls her Baby Hulk. It may soon become a reality.

We had our first real fever. It hit suddenly, and topped out at nearly 104. Yes, I kinda freaked out. Yes, I was one of those first-time mommas and called the doctor. Yes, I took her in and yes, the doctor said nothing was wrong, just to piggy-back Tylenol and Motrin. I thought Paul would be frustrated with my seemingly invalid concern, but he laughed and said, "Just getting closer to the deductible." Score.

The new puppy? Yeah, Rufus came to us with mange. Not the bad kind, but he was thoughtful enough to share it with Bunker. So, two trips to the vet, two skin treatments and one antibiotic later, Rufus now lives outside. Not just because of the itchies, but also because he mananged to squirt poop on my living room wall. Not sure how, but didn't want to risk finding out with another episode.

Ansley went swimming for the first time! The best part? Something happened with my SD card, and I lost all my pics of the inaguaral event. Ridiculous.

Life has hit an incredibly slow point at the office. As busy as the school year is, we all kinda start going crazy after one week of office time. Plus, I won't be getting off early, so Ansley will be with the sitter about three hours a day.

This is the summer of weddings and babies (well, that's more so the fall). We've made it to 2 weddings so far, and still have 2 to go. And, babies? 4. Three friends, and a sister-in-law. Time really is just flying by. Oh, and I've been married for 4 years. 4 WHOLE YEARS!

So, that's our life as of late. Nothing incredibly funny or sad to tell. We're looking forward to our vacation next month. Last year took us to Puerto Rico. This summer, we're staying close to home and spending a week in Ocean City, Maryland.

Sometimes, it feels like time just creeps by. When Ansley is fussy or just a handful, I find myself wishing away the few hours before bedtime, just so I can have some time to myself. But after I put her to bed, I find myself sneaking back into her room and I just stand there. I look into her crib, and just watch her sleep. It's those moments, when the tick of the clock seems to stop, that I take a deep breath. I breath in the soft scent of a freshly bathed babe, and sigh. Because even though it seems like nothing will steal that moment from us, I know that just a few hours will bring a new day. And, with that new day comes more milestones, more personality, and even less time as a baby.

She's growing up. Maybe I should glue my eyes open so I don't miss anything.

So this is what it's like...

We don't have cable. Or Dish. And we never have.

I grew up with a television, with cable, in my room. Even in college, the dorm had a TV in the lobby, and there were plenty of others around campus for me to catch "my shows."

Since we've been married, we've operated on an antenna. And it hasn't been too bad. I can't watch the news (as a news junkie, that is a big deal), but I manage. I can use the internet for that. But, even with 5 channels, I somehow manage to spend too much time in front of the TV. And it's spilling over to Ansley.

She watches Sid the Science Kid in the mornings, followed by Clifford. Now, she doesn't actually sit and do nothing but stare at the TV, but I can tell she does enjoy the colors. We've also, occasionally, let her watch Two and a Half Men (in my defense, Paul is a much bigger fan of the show than I am).

But, yesterday, we decided against vegging in front of the boob tube. Ansley and I played outside. And went on a walk. And played outside some more. She LOVES being outside. It doesn't matter what we are doing. She is perfectly content to sit in the grass and hold a stick.

Yesterday, we played fetch with Rascal. Ansley laughed every time Rascal brought the ball back. And she played with Rufus. And it was fun, even for this techpendent mommy.

Then, she had dinner, and we played some more. After a long bath (I guess it is a good thing that she enjoys bath time so much, especially since she likes being outside so much), we snuggled on the porch swing for a bit. Then, she enjoyed her bedtime bottle while I cooked dinner. Even though it was just spaghetti, and pretty much cooks itself, I was involved.

I would have loved to rock the kiddo to sleep, but she will have nothing to do with that. She prefers to be put in bed while she is awake and put herself to sleep. So, after putting her down, I ate dinner. Now, I will admit, I watched television while eating. But it wasn't what I would normally watch. I bypassed American Idol (ok, I'll be honest. The channel was out.) and watched Nova on PBS. It was about tornadoes. And it was really stinkin' interesting.

And, then, I did the dishes (again, honestly because the channel Glee comes on was out).

But, ya'll, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed pulling myself away from the television for some time outside with Ansley. I didn't exactly enjoy doing the dishes, but I know it will make things easier for Paul, because I've already packed his lunch for tomorrow and the sink isn't full of dirty dishes. That, I enjoy. It makes me feel like super wife.

Now, I'm not saying I'm tossin' the TV to the curb, but what I am saying is that I actually really enjoyed my day. I enjoyed being outside, and I enjoyed watching Ansley interact with the pups and nature.

I don't expect us to get cable any time soon, and I know for sure that Ansley isn't going to have a TV in her room. We'll spend time together, outside, or inside playing games and laughing at each other, not the TV. And, just maybe, eventually that TV will make it's way to the curb.

That is, after I figure out what's going with Lost.

My Partner

I love my husband. There is no hiding that fact. He is honest, trustworthy, faithful, and really, really good looking.

He is a hard worker, doing what is needed to provide for our family. When I was pregnant and my air conditioning went out in my car, he said he would fix it for me. He got me a new car. My dream car.

He's worked numerous jobs at a time, and has made multiple offers to me to stay at home with the babe. But, we're partners. And I want to help.

Right now, his work schedule means that Ansley and I spend evenings together five days a week. She gets mornings with Daddy and evenings with Mommy. Thursdays and Fridays are our family days, as well as Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings.

It isn't the most fun. But, after a couple of years, you get used to it. I don't have to feel guilty about having specific television shows I enjoy watching. Because Paul isn't home, and it doesn't take away from our time (though, it does occasionally happen to take away from laundry time). I get time to blog, and read, and take a warm bath, and keep filling up the tub when the water cools off. And I love it.

But, even when I'm eating from my personal pint of Half Baked and watching Glee (I started out as a closet fan, but no more. I am Totally.Addicted.), I miss him. And sometimes, I miss him so much I can't think about anything else. I can't distract myself, and all I can think about is when he will be home.

Tonight is one of those nights. It hasn't been particularly bad. Ansley's bedtime routine wasn't trouble. I even cooked myself dinner rather than opting for the regular bowl of cereal or frozen meal. It's been a good night. But I miss Paul. And I really need him here. NOW.

Because my back has been itching for about an hour, and I can't reach it. And it's driving me crazy.

Some rocks should be left unturned.

One great aspect about my job is that there are certain things I can do at work and totally say it's "job related."

Like, watching 16 and Pregnant. Or Teen Mom. Awesome.

So, last week, I was looking for some pictures of womb babies. One thing led to another, and to another, and before I knew it, I was watching birth videos. Yes, that's right. I watched videos of other women's nether regions doing what seems physically impossible.

First, I opted for the water birth video. It was actually pretty tame, and awesome, so I continued on to my next feat: a natural birth.

Now, don't get me wrong. Labor hurts. Sure, maybe I wimped out by getting the epi, but that was after 18 hours without one. But this woman was screaming. And Wailing. And Crying. And Cursing. Out.Loud. There was no attempt at going to a calming place. No rythmic breathing. Just camera shots of things I didn't want to see, followed by shots of her 4 year old son asking his dad why mommy's privates looked like that.

No kidding. Now, I love Ansley. And, she'll be with us at the hospital with the next one. But I'm not planning on giving her and anatomy lesson using Mommy as a life size model. Ain't gonna do it.

Eventually, that baby made it's way out, but, golly, it wasn't easy.

Then, as though I had not had enough, I watched a video of a c-section. I honestly thought that after the natural birth, watching the c-section wouldn't be a big deal. Fail.

After meeting the couple, I learned about the different incisions that can be made for a c-section. Then, Freddy Crugar made his appearance, in OBGYN form.

They sliced her. Not a big deal. I can handle that. The thing that got me was seeing them pull the abs apart. Barf. I think I actually gagged. Then, they sliced the uterus, and pulled this fat little baby head out. and let it sit there for a little bit. So, here's this mom with a head coming out of her abdomen. Aliens, anyone?

A coworker heard my gags, and asked what I was watching. I told him, and he responded "Cool! Let me see!" So I watched it. AGAIN!

It made me very happy that I turned down the doc's offer to position a mirror so I could watch Ansley being born. Yeah. I didn't watch my own kid come out, but I watched three other women as they birthed their babes, crowning and all.

So, I thought I would share a birth video with my readers! This isn't one of the previously mentioned videos. This will not scar you, but you may pee your pants from laughing. Enjoy!

p.s.- This is a scene from Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. Don't judge me, but I think it's freakin' hilarious.

Wiggles and jiggles and feels so real...

It's my water baby!

How many of you remember these commercials? Just in case you've forgotten, let me refresh your memory.

Well, I have a water baby. Not one of those that you fill with warm water. That's just weird and freaky. But, and actual baby that loves the tub.

So, the other night, I was bathing Ansley. She LOVES her bath time. No.Joke. If she's fussy and doesn't want to be held but doesn't want to be put down, bath time is our hero. It's a great break for mommy too. She'll play and squeel in delight while mommy takes time to rest. Tubside, of course.

So, here we are. We've had several exciting bath experiences. Last week, I wanted her to take a LONG bath. Partially because she's so happy in the bath, and also because as soon as she's out, she's ready for the lotion, bottle and bed. Normally, she's in bed by 8:15 p.m. and she talks to herself until about 8:30. Then, she's out.

So, this bath started at 6:45. Following the typical schedule, she would have been in bed by 7:30, meaning she would wake up the next morning at 6:30. Sorry. I know I'm a mother and no longer a college student, but I'm pretty sure it is a sin against nature to get out of bed that early. At least, it's a sin against my nature.

So, obviously, that wasn't going to jive. So, I was faced with a dilema. How to stretch out bath time. Well, give her a playmate, of course!

Now that the kiddo is a tub sitter, she seems to enjoy the few bath toys much more. She and Rascal still battle over the rubber duckies, but Ansley doesn't just hand them over anymore. I debated sticking Rascal in the tub, but quickly decided that would not be the best idea. Rascal doesn't mind the water, but I did not see it ending well at.all.

So, what was to be the next option. I thought, and thought, and thought, and eventually decided I would be the bathtub playmate.

The last time I took a bath with someone else was, well, let's not think about that. But I couldn't get over the fact that this was just too weird. So, I opted for the more sensible choice. I dug out a swimsuit, and hopped in the tub with Ansley.

There were several reasons I decided to try this option out. Mainly, I didn't want to sit in 2 inches of water, naked. That's just a little too weird for my tastes. Especially with Rascal constantly trying to join the tub. I can't go to the bathroom if I think someone is listening in the next room, so bathing with someone watching me, even a dog, is out of the question.

The second reason I opted for the swimsuit was because I didn't want to scar my poor little girl. Now, I've taken a few showers with the kiddo, especially when she was younger. They worked out well, overall. However, I did learn that if a baby is breastfed, that naked boob means food. It doesn't matter if she just ate and isn't hungry. If it's there, she's after it.

Now, I stopped nursing Ansley after about 10 weeks. I had gone back to work full time, and she was already asking to supersize her meal AND add an extra order of fries on the side. I simply couldn't keep up. Plus, I was constantly hungry, and couldn't eat enough to stop losing weight (go ahead, flame me all you want, but it isn't any fun to be skinny when your husband continually tells you that you look like you're sporting an eating disorder). So, we stopped nursing, and Ansley hasn't been at the breast since.

I wasn't concerned about her all of a sudden backtracking. I was concerned because she's getting much better at grabbing things. And pulling. And pinching. And, honestly, I hadn't trimmed her nails in a few days and it wasn't a risk I was willing to take. So, the swimsuit seemed the best option to extend the bath time.

It wasn't nearly as strange as I expected it to be. We had tons of fun splashing each other, and Ansley got to experience more than 2 inches of water. We pushed the ducky back and forth, and enjoyed the warmth of the water. And when suddenly our tub became a jucuzzi tub, I knew it had come time for the fun to end.

I learned a few things though. Even if you think your maternity swimsuit is cuter than your regular one, you probably shouldn't wear it. Cause even if you haven't gone back to normal in other places, chances are, your chest isn't the same size. I'm glad I discovered that before heading to the beach this summer.

Secondly, I learned that thinking outside the box can be a lot of fun. Ansley and I play all the time, but it was great to take a simple everyday activity and make it something new. I hate when everyday is the same as the day before, and even just something as simple as putting on a swimsuit and taking a bath with your kiddo.

What are some ways you bond with your bundle of joy? How do you think outside the box?

Life

It's amazing how few things you get accomplished when there is something you have to do at work :o)

As the weekend quickly approaches, my "to do" list continues to grow. That list includes finishing at least one of the three started but unfinished posts, as well as taking those clothes to Goodwill. Yup, still haven't done that yet.

That list also includes spending a beautiful Saturday at home with the hubs. He has the weekend off and I am so.stinkin'.excited.

However, I must make this quick, as Paul will be home in the next few minutes. And I haven't even started dinner. Well, I have turned the oven on to preheat, but we know how much trouble frozen pizzas are.